CNN Central News & Network-ITDC India Epress/ITDC News Bhopal: When parents in a family appear to give more attention or affection to one child than another, the other child may develop feelings of neglect and insecurity. At times, the child may begin to think that perhaps there is something lacking in them, or that they are not worthy of love. Such beliefs formed in childhood can affect confidence and relationships even after growing up.
Comparison can increase feelings of inferiority. For example, in a family, parents may constantly praise one daughter’s achievements while paying less attention to the efforts of another daughter. If teachers or classmates at school also give more importance to one child, the child who feels neglected may begin to feel that they have no value. Gradually, they may start seeing themselves as inferior to others. However, parents’ behaviour is not always deliberate discrimination. Sometimes, because of children’s different needs, temperaments or circumstances, the way attention is given changes. But its emotional impact on the child can be real, and it is important to understand it.
Are you the one at fault? If you feel that another child in the family receives more love than you, it does not mean that you are bad or that there is something lacking in you. Every child has their own qualities, feelings and needs. Someone else receiving more praise does not reduce your ability or your importance.
How should you talk to your parents? Instead of suppressing your feelings, speak to your parents at a calm time. Rather than making accusations, say, “When I am compared with my sister or when what I say is not heard, I feel hurt. I want you to listen to me too.” This may help them understand your feelings.
Take care of your mental health. Give time to your interests, recognise small achievements and connect with people with whom you feel safe and respected. If sadness, loneliness or the feeling of being worthless continues for a long time, speaking to a psychologist or counsellor can be helpful. Remember, your worth is not determined by how much attention others give you.
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